It's the Thought

A few weeks back, we had a returning camper in our class. This little boy has hit a bit of a rough patch in his young life, a rough patch that his behavior certainly reflected. To make a long story short, he and his mother came in this morning to us counselors with an apology and a bag of cookies.

To further set the scene: the boy who was downright disobedient for three weeks was now cowering behind his mother's legs, looking fragile and embarrassed.

His mother explained that it was very difficult for him to come to apologize for his behavior, but that it is an important lesson that he has to learn. Owning up to his mistakes, and setting things right. Or at least taking the first step.

And those chocolate chip cookies were some of the best I've ever tasted.

I've learned that people show their feelings in highly varied ways. Some people apologize through words, others through actions. When you love someone, you learn how they tick.

Or let's go beyond apologies entirely. Another related lesson? Different people can be there for you in different ways (and you for them). Some people may let you lean on their shoulder and just cry. Others may listen while you try to work through your feelings out loud. Or on the phone. Or through emails. Still others are blessed with knowing just what to say at just the right time. Still others don't do emotions so well, but will bake you a cake and deliver it with a hug.

In my opinion, no one act of love outdoes another. It is the intention behind the action. If the apology is sincere, what does it matter if it is through a letter or through baked goods?

When you have special people in your life who love you, you learn that this love is all around you. No matter what form it comes in.

It's really about acceptance. From accepting an apology to accepting help. And realizing that everyone is in a different stage in life. And we all have unique strengths regarding caring for others or relating our feelings.

When we know better, we do better.

And that realization tastes pretty sweet. Kind of like gooey chocolate chip cookies.