The End of a Chapter

Today, my thesis is officially completed. As in, I have my grade and my professor signed it. Done.

I never thought I would be so moved by the completion of a paper. Jubilant? Yes. Relived? Yes. But not touched.

I think it has to do with the content. Not to be dramatic, but I really put my heart and soul into this thing. I can honestly say, 110%. Yes, it was research.

But I was indirectly talking about myself.

And that's the thing. In writing this paper (research, execution, all of that) I was facing head-on struggles that began almost four years ago. Around the time I started here.

Writing about these times, even through research and indirect means, is like composing a summary of what I've learned about myself and life in general. It's the closing of a chapter.

Quite literally as I am writing this, I just ran into a professor I had my entire first year at UMass. She means a lot to me, and has been instrumental in me getting to know myself. Funny I would randomly meet up with her now, as I have not seen her since last fall before I left for Italy. I just told her about my thesis and the whole last year of my life, which has turned into one of the most meaningful yet. I swear she had a tear in her eye as she put her hand on my shoulder and spoke with her German accent: "This is beautiful, really. Everyone is getting older and wiser."

And it's true. Every experience is a growing experience. And growing, with all of the pain and realizations and joy that comes with it, is pretty incredible. Funny how a paper can show you that.